They're Only Bees
August 28th, 2009

I’m going to quiz your face off.

It’s quiz time folks!

Let’s get quizzical!

Fuck you, answer me.

You got answers, I want em. Gimme.

^^ those were all rejected titles for this quiz. I like the slightly threatening sound of the one I went for.  BUT ANYWAY.

This was inspired by a week in which I accidentally did two quizzes. One in a pub I happened to be sat in, and only found out about the damn thing when the bar-lady scolded us for putting music on the jukebox minutes before her quiz started., and the other was a team-building thing in work. I lost both.

Anyway, do your best to answer these…funniest answer wins. Be creative.

 

1. How many horses does it take to be a horse?

2. Can you prove, beyond reasonable doubt, that you exist?

3. What kind of animal is a dog?

4. Like, you know?

5. I have two ducks. How many ducks do I have?

6. If an apple weighs 25 grams, I have 10 apples, then I give away 50% of my apples. Complete this sentence, *BLANK* is for apple.

7. You’ve just been stabbed. Which member of Take That is the perpetrator?

8. A pineapple said your mother is ugly. What is a pineapple?

9. She sucked HOW many d*cks?

10. How long would a tiger survive if you set it on fire?

11. Name the exact cause of Robert Downey Jnr.

12. What, exactly, is the ‘asda price’?

13. Indecision. Friend, or foe?

14. If God was an animal, what animal would he be?

15. WHY WON’T MIKA DIE?

16. If you were a kiss, what kind of kiss would you be?

17. Complete this sentence: *** ***** ******** Kurt Vonnegut ** ****.

18. Toga?

19. Toga?

20. Toga?

Give your answers in the comments. Go! 

2 Comments »

Comment by Mel
  • How many horses does it take to be a horse? It takes one Eocene and 50 million years.
    2. Can you prove, beyond reasonable doubt, that you exist? Yes I can.
    3. What kind of animal is a dog? Homo Bahamen.
    4. Like, you know? Like, I know!
    5. I have two ducks. How many ducks do I have? Enough to join the dodging team.
    6. If an apple weighs 25 grams, I have 10 apples, then I give away 50% of my apples. Complete this sentence, *BLANK* is for apple. Pork
    7. You’ve just been stabbed. Which member of Take That is the perpetrator? Orange, definitely Orange.
    8. A pineapple said your mother is ugly. What is a pineapple? A mango in armor.
    9. She sucked HOW many d*cks? Dickteen
    10. How long would a tiger survive if you set it on fire? 3 years, 11 months, 5 days, 17 hours, 45 minutes and 37 seconds.
    11. Name the exact cause of Robert Downey Jnr. Weird Science.
    12. What, exactly, is the ‘asda price’? Pilipino children’s fingers.
    13. Indecision. Friend, or foe? Foe, no friend, no foe, friend, foe. I don’t know I’m indecisive.
    14. If God was an animal, what animal would he be? A desk lamp.
    15. WHY WON’T MIKA DIE? He doesn’t exist (see question 2)
    16. If you were a kiss, what kind of kiss would you be? Washing Machine type one.
    17. Complete this sentence: *** ***** ******** Kurt Vonnegut ** ****. I don’t know Kurt Vonnegut personally but…………(now you complete my sentence, bitch)
    18. Toga? Beer
    19. Toga? Woods
    20. Toga? Tiger (the chain of bars)

    August 28, 2009 @ 2:55 pm
  • Comment by Ian
  • 1. How many horses does it take to be a horse?
    Allen

    2. Can you prove, beyond reasonable doubt, that you exist?
    i don’t think i do

    3. What kind of animal is a dog?
    a sexy one

    4. Like, you know?

    5. I have two ducks. How many ducks do I have?
    one for you and one for me

    6. If an apple weighs 25 grams, I have 10 apples, then I give away 50% of my apples. Complete this sentence, *BLANK* is for apple.
    A

    7. You’ve just been stabbed. Which member of Take That is the perpetrator?
    Gary Barlow because of me looking like him in my early 20s

    8. A pineapple said your mother is ugly. What is a pineapple?
    a fruit with good eyesight but no tact

    9. She sucked HOW many d*cks?
    37

    10. How long would a tiger survive if you set it on fire?

    11. Name the exact cause of Robert Downey Jnr.
    beer+money= awesome iron clad superhero

    12. What, exactly, is the ‘asda price’?
    cheap enough for people on the dole

    13. Indecision. Friend, or foe?
    i dunno

    14. If God was an animal, what animal would he be?
    me

    15. WHY WON’T MIKA DIE?
    semen is like the holy grail

    16. If you were a kiss, what kind of kiss would you be?
    unexpected following hug

    17. Complete this sentence: *** ***** ******** Kurt Vonnegut ** ****.
    Boo Yaaaa fucking Kurt Vonnegut my cunt

    18. Toga?
    please see question 20

    19. Toga?
    please see question 18

    20. Toga?
    yes

    August 28, 2009 @ 9:36 pm
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