Stop it. Stop right there. Cease and fucking desist.
I’m no doctor, but I have a feeling I can tell where at least part of your problem is. Do you walk around wondering why your inner arm/thigh is chafing more than it normally should? It’s because you CUT it with a KNIFE. So, my advice- and this is important- is to STOP cutting yourself. Therefore, less chafing, less annoyed, and maybe you’ll find it easier to be at peace with the world. People are more likely to speak to the person WITHOUT blood seeping through their jeans. Remember that. It could be important one day.
Now, we’ve all heard the whiny statement ‘but I cut myself to make sure I can still feel the pain’. I can save you a knife wound there soldier, you WILL still feel it. Unless you’re dead, in which case you have bigger problems than cutting yourself. But in the event you STILL want to cut yourself, this should really only be done once. Any more times than that is just silly. If you do feel compelled to ‘just make sure’ and check you can feel the pain…think back to that first time. Was it fun? No, it was painful. Do you remember the “Fuck! My leg’s fucking bleeding!” reaction you had? Now, do you STILL want to cut yourself? Really? Freak. Get out of my civilized society.
A popular self harming excuse is that it is done for attention. This is entirely plausible, as a large number of scars down ones forearm will definitely get you noticed. However, it may get you labelled as certain, not good, things. Alternative methods of getting yourself noticed could be used instead, which may prove much more effective in enlightening others to your lonely plight, which in turn may make you a happier person.
- Get Naked. Ideally in a public place. You might even make the local newspaper, and become a local celebrity. It worked for *insert popular/retarded model name here*.
- Dance with a stranger. Preferably with their consent. Nothing can kill a buzz like a slap and a restraining order…
- Leave for a while. Nothing erases bad memories of you better than a prolonged absence. When you get back, possibly from a fun adventure, people will be more “Hey, I wonder what *you* is up to now?” rather than “Where’s that dude who keeps cutting himself? I’d like to avoid him and not make his acquaintance!”. They could be EXACT QUOTES. Someone could be asking after you! How quaint! If you’d only change your ways…
- Pretend you’re a cowboy. Picture the scene…you’re in a crowded bar, you’re not the most attractive person in there…but you’re wearing leather chaps, a wicked hat and YOU’RE A COWBOY! People WILL notice you, and you will make new friends this way. They will be mostly drunk, but you will be a god to them.
You get the idea. Do something interesting, that you wouldn’t normally do. Hacking away at yourself isn’t going to win any friends, and carving a girls name into your thigh will never get you laid.
Though, another quick tip: If you do plan on scarring yourself with the name of your betrothed, make sure they’re called ‘Sue’, or ‘Bob’, or something…’Stephanie’ really started to smart around the ‘ph’.
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