There is a fuck-load of snow in Liverpool today, causing mass panic like a giant, softly-descending flakey monster bastard. Trains have stopped, buses are cancelled and the River Mersey has exploded in a flurry of white. Or something.
Really though; people have run screaming from the city centre, crying about schools being closed and the threat of maybe having to drive slightly slower than normal. A slightly out of the ordinary weather phenomenon has occurred (same way it does every year) and the entire populace has gone straight to the rafters to end their lives out of fear they might slip and fall on their arse.
Except me. I’m stuck in work. I have the unfortunate attribute of living in the City Centre, therefore my risk of falling over and hurting myself is reduced. Possibly because I’m already familiar with the surroundings. Luckily, they’re letting me go early (at 3pm, which is roughly 15 minutes away at the time of writing) and I cannot wait to go and frolic. Yes, frolic.
In fact, I’m only writing this to pass the time until I’m let out and I can go and build a giant phallus out of snow, as is customary. There’s enough snow to build an entire orgy though. Tonight is going to be a cold, sexy night.
Chris
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