Onlybees » Short Stories http://www.onlybees.com/b They're Only Bees Sat, 10 Jul 2010 00:42:41 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 Copyright © 2012 Onlybees mick@onlybees.com (Chris and Viz) mick@onlybees.com (Chris and Viz) Vizpod Chriscast Podcast! 1440 http://www.onlybees.com/b/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/vpcc-rss.jpg Onlybees » Short Stories http://www.onlybees.com/b 144 144 The Vizpod Chriscast It's a podcast, in which three increasingly purile 20-somethings talk about filth and their (mostly) strange past experiences. podcast, talking Chris and Viz Chris and Viz mick@onlybees.com no yes The Magician – A Very Short Story http://www.onlybees.com/b/2009/09/the-magician-a-very-short-story/ http://www.onlybees.com/b/2009/09/the-magician-a-very-short-story/#comments Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:46:39 +0000 Chris http://www.onlybees.com/b/?p=113 The Magician was a bad magician.

He’d never been told this directly, but he could tell from the death-toll of his animal helpers and the occasional one-star review his few early stage shows had received. He’d had to give up doing children’s parties because he was tired of seeing the horrified look on the faces of parents when the corpse of a recently deceased Dove flew from his sleeve to hit little Billy in the face. Parents don’t like that, though they’ve never actually complained, preferring to shove his payment into his hand and usher him out quickly to a chorus of screaming adolescents.He rarely got the dead Doves back.
 
Mistakes like that happened so much, he changed his act. The Magician now advertised a dark humour with his shows, used prop stuffed animals and performed mainly to students or at corporate events, who lapped up his act of Bad Magician. 
 
Every dead rabbit has a silver lining.
 
His change in direction disgusted his peers almost as much as himself. By taking the step, he was able to make just as much money as before but skipped the years of training and the need for any talent. His natural awkward comic-timing endeared him to his new crowds, to whom the bumbling mistakes looked intentional.
 
The Magician was a good comedian.
 
Except comedy isn’t where his passion lay. He couldn’t remember a time in his life where he had wanted to be laughed at on stage, yet from a very early age he had wanted to entertain and amaze. Every Christmas and birthday he asked for a Magic Set, disregarded the instructions and ruined the whole thing in less than a week. It didn’t dull his enthusiasm.
 
When he was asked what he did for a living during his adult life, he would lie, for fear of being harangued into performing a trick. You would be surprised how many members of the general public happen to carry a pack of cards.  Once, out of blind panic and peer pressure, he set fire to a £20 note at a party, despite knowing absolutely zero tricks to back up the stunt. He had no fake £20 note to hand, wasn’t adept at sleight of hand, and ended up taking a trip to a cash machine very shortly after with a terribly bruised ego.
 
The Magician was a bad magician.

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