First of all, I’d like to mention one of my favourite things about the iPhone. The ability to email any address, for any reason, whenever you like. You could be sat in a pub, really enjoying a pint, so you might send a quick email off to Carlsberg to say thanks. It’d depend on how drunk you are, I suppose.
For example, I once emailed the Burger King customer service email address (found at the foot of their receipts) to ask what they thought would win in a fight; a BK Whopper or a Big Mac.
They didn’t reply.
People rarely do.
It’s understandable, because no company would be successful if they let their staff fuck about replying to shit like this.
However, some do. Like the van I spotted when I was walking home from work. “Midas UK – Liquids and Mechanical Seals”.
Now, I get that it’s some sort of manufacturing company, dealing with parts and mechanical shit. However, I didn’t fancy passing up the chance to ask them about their Mechanical Seals.
And lo, they replied. The outcome wasn’t the comedy extravaganza I’d hoped for, but still. I did it with this site in mind, so here it is.
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hide details 9 Mar (13 days ago)
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Chris <chris@onlybees.com>Hello!
I’d really like to purchase one of your ‘mechanical seals’. They sound very interesting.
How would I go about doing that?
Regards
Chris
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I thought I’d keep it subtle, and try to generate a reply if I could. Hell, It sounds sincere, if a little slow.
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hide details 10 Mar (12 days ago)
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Chris,
Thanks for showing an interest in mechanical seals.
There are many different types with many different material configurations. They generally suit specific applications, usually fitted to pumps or mixers.
So if you have an application you would like some assistance with, please send through the details.
Regards
Vince
Midas Engineering Supplies Ltd
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Yes! A reply! I seemed sincere enough! Sadly, I’m not sure if my reply exactly fit with what they expected.
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From: Chris <chris@onlybees.com>
Date: 11 March 2010 12:59:57 GMT
To: “mail@midas-engineering.co.uk” <mail@midas-engineering.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Mechanical Seals enquiry
Hi there,
Thanks very much for the quick response.
It’s actually for a pool in my back garden. The one I originally used was causing numerous problems with upkeep, and think a high-quality mechanical seal might alleviate these.
Do you think you might be able to match me to my ideal mechanical seal?
Regards
Chris
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Was I too obvious? I should have played it cooler. It was too clear that we were talking about different things. He was shilling spare parts, I was hankering after a robot fish-eater. I didn’t get another reply.
Still, that didn’t stop me from chasing it up. Which, sadly, they’ve also not replied to.
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From: Chris <chris@onlybees.com>
Date: 15 March 2010 08:49:27 GMT
To: “mail@midas-engineering.co.uk” <mail@midas-engineering.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Mechanical Seals enquiry
Hi!
I’m sorry to chase this up so soon after sending the original. Vince is the name a very busy man might have, so I can fully appreciate how you might be a very busy man. My uncle was called Vince, and he was always terribly busy.
Anyway, I was wondering if you could possibly advise me on my last email? Since we last corresponded, I foolishly obtained another regular seal and tried to ingratiate that into my set up. Sadly, it was a little volatile and it ended up attacking my girlfriend. She’s covered in flipper-shaped bruises.
I trust your Mechanical Seals suffer no such problems?
Anyway, I have The Queen visiting the week after next, and I’d really love a Mechanical Seal to really set my collection off. The closest available alternative I’ve found is a Robot Puffin, but the price quoted was fairly ridiculous considering no one really gives a shit about Puffins.
I eagerly await your swift response! Fast, like a Cheetah with email access!
Regards
Chris
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I’ll be honest, I’m not really expecting a response. A polite ‘Fuck Off’ would have been nice though.
If I don’t hear anything, I might set up a new email address and enquire about a bionic Seal.
Bionic Seal
One day, I might grow up.
Chris
